[clutches chest][stares off into the distance][whispers] the social network
day two: fluff
They’re in bed, almost asleep, when Stiles says, “So I think we should get married.”
Cora blinks up at the ceiling as she takes a moment to process. He thinks they should get married. He thinks the best way to propose is half-asleep on a Tuesday night after Thai takeout because she didn’t feel like cooking.
"I’m not proposing," Stiles says softly into the darkness, rolling onto his side to look over at her. "Not yet. I just want you to prepare yourself, because I’m coming."
She rolls her head to the side to look back at him. He looks serious and breathtaking in the moonlight seeping in through their bedroom window. All she wants to do is see him bathed in the light of the different phases over and over again for the rest of her life.
Eventually, she says, “As long as you don’t shove the ring into a piece of cake or something.”
I HAVE TO PACK BUT I’VE BEEN AVOIDING IT FOR FOREVER AND I’M STILL AVOIDING IT AND I HATE EVERYTHING
tumblr you can keep your glorified nostalgia about the wild thornberries and tony hawk’s pro skater and getting to hold the flea-ridden stuffed lion during the d.a.r.e program and what have you because THIS right here. now THIS was the essence of the 90s
YOU’LL CALL NOW
oh man it took me literally 2 seconds of this video to remember exactly how the rest of it went
I hated this commercial. Turns out I still hate it.
OH MY GOD THIS DAMN COMMERCIAL
I CAN’T FUCKING STOP LAUGHING its as awful as i remembered it
i cant quite explain this commercial and how it came back to me like
i couldnt remember the exact words by heart but. everything they said chimed in my head like a song i’d heard a long time ago. it was almost rhythmic, buried deep in my memory. it was probably the most bizarre way ive ever remembered something.
Commissioned work for areyoutryingtodeduceme! Deputy!Derek and Baker!Stiles AU being stupid to each other. And since I’m also stupid have something more.
what am i doing
hope u liked my commission and im so so r r y
And that is why you either love Superman or hate him, haha.
The morning after Stiles’s sixteenth birthday, he woke from his first honest-to-god wet dream about Hollywood heartthrob Derek Hale. It was the beginning of a bright and long-lasting obsession— one he would insist, repeatedly, does not exist, thanks, now can I get three copies of that Men’s Fitness— no, man, I didn’t even see him on the cover there, I just care a lot about kale and leg presses, okay?
And maybe he was a handful of years too late, because Derek Hale hadn’t been exactly relevant outside of his devastating good looks and magazine physique since 2008 when Diamond Interchange III came out, but after he had one measly little dream about Derek Hale’s jaw muscles flexing and eyelashes fluttering as he sucked down Stiles’s cock, he just couldn’t stop.
By the time he was nineteen, Stiles could quote all of the atrocious dialogue from the first two DI movies from memory, had turned down the handful of dates he’d been asked out on, and spent a truly unholy amount of time fantasizing about licking the cleft of Derek Hale’s chin.
At twenty, after the fifth installment in the DI franchise came out and had a shocking amount of success (especially considering the fourth one had gone straight to DVD/Blu-ray), Stiles went grocery shopping, had a minor breakdown in the middle of the magazine aisle, and left with no fewer than six magazines featuring spreads or covers or interviews of a glowering Derek Hale.
At twenty-one, he leaned across the bartop and said, “Hey,” with a sloppy slur, “can I tell you something sad?” The bartender raised her perfectly-shaped eyebrows at him and waited. “I’m a virgin. I’m a twenty-one-year-old virgin because I’m hung up on a shitty celebrity with nice eyes. I hate myself.”
hey so i made a horrible thing for an awesome fic, one of the very brightest stars in fandom for me right now, so satisfying in a way that is exactly the opposite of this shitty movie poster for a shitty movie. go, go now, go do it. you won’t regret it.
hannibal is a bad show because like why dont they just send robocop after hannibal?? he cant eat a robot. he literally cant stop him
ferris wheels : domestic [day 1]
A deer that catches stars in its antlers
I look at you and see all the ways a soul can bruise, and I wish I could light lanterns along your spine so you know that there’s nothing but light when I see you.